Discover more from For Better Or Worse: Tales From A Married Man
Everybody says men don’t talk about their emotions.
The Unspoken Language
Everybody says men don’t talk about their emotions. We do, but in a 'less is more' kind of way. To be honest, if it doesn't need to be said, we would rather not. I saw a meme: a group of guys standing together at a BBQ, and the caption reads: "Guys can have a conversation for hours and not ask each other's names to be friends." Maybe men's emotions operate on a need-to-know basis.
It's so boring to hear people tell men to cry more or address their vulnerability. Men are vulnerable when our team wins the league or when our favorite artist drops a fire ass lyric, yet for some reason, those emotions don't count. In my experience, the world doesn't have time for how men feel; it doesn't care about labor; it only rewards the fruits. Maybe that's why we've adopted a 'keep the peace' communication style. I'm banned from saying a few phrases in my household; one of them is 'fair enough,' and the other is 'aite cool.' In most cases, these phrases are fairly harmless, and throughout my life, they have been efficient ways for me to avoid confrontation and, yup, keep the peace. In a marriage, sometimes the status quo needs to be disturbed because it's only through disruption that you can create change. Sometimes it sounds like we don't care or can't be bothered, but it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Head nods and thumbs up don't mean much in a marriage, yet one can forget to disarm themselves when they come home from the battlefield. Maybe there is a reality where men break free from the shackles of societal expectations. The kind emotions a man needs to survive in the outside world, are not the always the same one required in the household, but I know it's hard to separate the two.