I married a MONSTER

The tragic tale of a trophy wife. *Trigger warning: Details of molestation and abuse.*

I watched a very difficult video this week.

The story of Isis, a self-proclaimed trophy wife and ex-dating coach, is heartbreaking.

Let’s set the scene.

Just under a year ago, Isis posted a (now deleted) video titled “SINGLE MOM to SPOILED HOUSEWIFE in LESS THAN A YEAR!!!!” The statement speaks for itself and to be clear I reference it only for context, not judgment.

Isis’s story goes like this; after getting pregnant at 17 years old, she entered her twenties as a single mother of two kids. Despite being financially successful (earning close to six figures a year), she felt something was missing. During a ‘lonely’ Christmas spent with her sons, she felt the desire for a family — meaning she needed a man, to complete the household. After watching a series of “how to find a high-value man” videos, she signed up for a dating site. After a few dates, Isis met a successful High Value man, twenty years older than her, who immediately fell in love. Apparently, Mr. High Value asked Isis to be his girlfriend on the first date. Isis initially refused, but feeling unsatisfied in her current relationship (as her partner didn’t appreciate her boys) and needing a place to stay, she reached out to Mr. High Value. He offered her a place to stay—on one condition. He didn’t want a girlfriend; he wanted a wife.In less than a week, Isis was ring shopping and soon became someone’s fiancée. It all sounds like an idyllic, “good on you, sister, live the dream” fairytale.

After posting this first video, Isis built a brand around her trophy-wife status and “how to find a high-value man” content. Two kids and 60k+ subscribers later, it looked like she finally found her happy ever after. Yet, a few days ago, the internet (myself included) learned about the dark reality behind Isis’s dream marriage. This week, she posted an update video titled “I Married a MONSTER.”

It’s important to explain that “I Married a MONSTER” was my first time coming across Isis’s videos. Honestly, I wish I had skipped this one because the more I watched, the more my stomach turned.

In the video, Isis is apologetic for her previous takes on trophy-wife living. She explains that her marriage is over and breaks down the disgusting truth. After they married, Mr.High Value revealed his true self. Isis exposes the multiple times he raped her, but that was not the straw that broke the camel’s back.A tearful Isis recounts the scenario that changed everything. While changing her four-year-old daughter’s nappy, she noticed stains and increased sensitivity in the child’s genital area. Based on her own childhood experiences, she instantly recognized the signs of abuse. She questioned her daughter, demanding to know if anyone had touched her inappropriately. To her horror, the child identified the culprit: “her daddy” (I feel sick typing this), Mr. High Value—Isis’s husband.

Credit to Isis, who did not hesitate to separate the children (including her two stepchildren) from the man. Upon taking the children to a doctor for a check-up, Isis discovered that her husband hadn’t stopped with the four-year-old. He had also molested the two-year-old child they shared.

Isis’s story is a horrific reminder of how sick humanity can be and how important it is to guard our hearts (especially our children). I could argue that the red flags waved high above Isis’s head—he was much older, too eager to get married, exploited her desires, and used them against her—but I also understand how manipulative people can be. It’s clear that Isis came from a vulnerable place and was conditioned by a social climate that encourages women to find their value in “successful” men. Many young people are drawn to the highlights and surface-level elements of relationships (and people), but a marriage takes patience. It’s dangerous to follow the advice of people online who paint perfect pictures of their lives. It’s almost impossible to coach people on relationships outside the context of those you’ve truly experienced. Half the things you see on social media are manufactured, and half the “gurus” are self-appointed. I can blame Isis, but I would rather blame the current dating climate; it’s so focused on what we can take from a person, rather than who they are. You can’t truly know a person after just one week—it’s dangerous. Marriage is a decision that impacts your entire life, so it should be approached with every aspect of your being: not just your heart, but also your mind and the wisdom of trusted counsel.

The story of Isis is not unique. Sadly, too many people are suffering in silence, I respect her bravery for coming forward with the truth. Marrying the wrong person is worse than not being married at all. Be careful who lays the blueprint for your relationships.

Here is a go fund link to support Isis and her family: Starting Over