my wife has abandoned me.

I'm a single parent.

I'm a single parent…for the next five days.

Piss off, I am not being overdramatic, anyone with children knows that five days alone with a child, day and night, really feels like five weeks.

I was supposed to sit down and write something introspective and insightful for today's email, but my wife received a phone call on Monday that changed everything. A…