there is the wrong way of being right in a relationship.
Arguments are not always about being right.
Arguments are not about being right. I used to think proving that you are right was a resolution to a dispute between two people. That after the heated battle of opinions, my wife would concede, pop the champagne, and celebrate that I (not we) had resolved the issue, saved our marriage, hooray! Wrong!
Sometimes, I get into with my wifey, and I desperately know that I’m right (you know dem ones), but I clench my fists, chomp down on my tongue and ask myself is it worth feeding the ego, but starving my love? In marriage, sometimes arguments are not about the answer, but the question. The process can be more important than the result when it comes to love. Love is not as straightforward or simple as maths, you can’t just tell your partner two plus two equals four, it’s your job to help them understand the equation. There is the wrong way of being right in a relationship. A distinction between being right, and handling things the right way.
It’s so easy to argue hoping to change a person’s mind, rather than to try and understand it. You can beat down another person’s opinion until they concede, but that’s a battle, not an agreement. Sometimes instead of trying to cut a disagreement off at the stem, you have to dig below the surface to find the root of it. All fights have a root cause, and over many years, I’ve learned that understanding it, can be more important than correcting it. Relationships are delicate, emotions should be tended to, not treated like weeds that you roughly uproot with no regard for their safety.
Last night, I added this to the long list of things I’m still learning about marriage.
